Graham Norton not Invited to Royal Wedding

BBC presenter and Duke of North Sweden Graham Norton was shocked to hear that he was not invited to attend the fourth-coming royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

The Irish BBC presenter phoned Prince William to ask his advice on what to wear to the Prince's upcoming wedding, but sadly learned that he was not invited. Norton reacted with what Prince William afterwards described as "an immature paddy like a little girl".

When interviewed regarding the phone call, Prince William stated that Norton called him "a stupid head" and said that he didn't like him anymore.

When asked why Graham Norton was discluded from his wedding ceremony and celebrations, Prince Will.i.am replied: "He's just so annoying and over the top, I don't want him there shouting out innuendos through the ceremony like he did that time we went to see Inception together. And besides, the last thing I want is for him to think he's being invited to host the event and get up half way through the ceremony to announce the adverts. But he'll probably turn up uninvited and ruin it anyway, like he keeps doing on Doctor Who”.

David Cameron Mistakes Tsunami for Toonami

David Cameron, Metroid Prime Minister of Britain, 'slipped up' when commenting on the Japan tsunami earlier this evening.

When questioned on why Harry Microsoft, head of demerera and word documents, was not available for questioning regarding the current state of demerera in Japan, Cameron replied with what he afterwards described as 'an unfortunate slip of the tongue, which I hope doesn't result in dogs eating my face'.

Instead of saying; "I think that Japan is coping perfectly well with the demerera situation after the recent tsunami," which Cameron claims he meant to say, he said; "I think that Japan is coping perfectly well with the demerera situation after the recent Toonami".

Toonami is a tel-e-vision broadcast network station, which has something to do with Cartoon Network, and shows anime shows and other cartoons, including 'Bob's Cat the Ferret' and 'Munch's Adventures in Boggo Land'. The broadcast network station broadcasts a tel-e-vision station network, for broadcast viewing.

Cartoon Network, or 'See En' as it is often known, have expressed concern for the reputation of the Toonami channel, fearing that angry Japanese men will blame them for the damage to their country, possibly assaulting the Toonami headquaters wielding coins as weapons.

After the press bombarded him with questions regarding the matter, James Cameron finally stated; "Look, I'm nothing to do with this, leave me alone".