FUTURE FILM REVIEWS PART ONE

This is the first in a series of film reivews of films which haven't been made yet. Professor Sedrick Cleverson has invented a time machine and visited the future to see what the film industry will offer in years to come.

This week in the future, Professor Cleverson has watched Toy Story 5 in 9D;
"Another Pixar classic. The level of detail in every frame of CGI was just breathing taking and the 9D effects offer a new level of film viewing that renders 3D as useless as a dead cat.
The plot was quite interesting and original; Woody (who is now made entirely of gold and has a jet-pack) and his friends have to escape a building of some sort and find their way back to Andy's grandson's house before they move, so he can play with them again.
The new characters were most wonderful; a fourth Buzz Lightyear, adding to the three that already join the cast, Ralph the Cowboy, a sort of male version of Jesse, Rainbow the Cottage-Cheese Cat and Mr and Mrs Potato-head's children the New Potato Gang.
Also, the clever twist that Andy's Grandson Gary grows up and marries the Grandaughter of Toy Story 1 antagonist Sid at the end of the film is most ingenius. But of course don't read that last but if you want to avoid spoilers.
Overall, I'll give Toy Story 5 in 9D Four out of Five Film-Grahams".

Next time, Cleverson will be reviewing a different film, but we haven't found out which yet because time travel is complicated and he could end up returning in a thousand yearas time, when apparantly the robins have taken over the world and it has become the law to throw cats at lamp posts whenever we see them.

THIS WEEK'S TOP HEADLINE HIGLIGHTS

This week's top headlines in categories:


Food:

Mayonnaise Said to be Made of Bernard Cribbins

Kinfrom's Evil Water Kills Thousands

Man's Life Ruined by biscuit

Man With Edible Face Grows Spaghetti Beard


Sport:

Sinister Man Buys Every Football Team

Norwich Golf Team Have Near-Parr-Experience

Football Fan 'Dan Go' Does the Fandango

"Sports," Claims Tennis Manager Keith Fitness


Technology:

New iPhone App Gives You Ability to Fly

New iPhone App Allows You to Make Calls and Send Texts

Nintendo's New Wii Game 'Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot and Spider-man at the Olympic Games' Breaks Sales Records

New iPhone App Tells You How Many Times You've Used the App

General News:

"It's a Trap," Claims Admiral Ackbar

King of Spades Attempts to Buy Space, NASA Rufuses Sale

After Four-Hundred Years of Research Scientists Finally Give up Searching for Way to Destroy Bruce Forsythe

Next Year Cancelled Due to Lack of Funds